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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26667832">This Indecision's Killing Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CinnamonFreckle/pseuds/CinnamonFreckle'>CinnamonFreckle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fairest of the Rare's Sing Me a Rare 2020 - UK Invasion, Fluff and Angst, Time Travel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:22:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26667832</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CinnamonFreckle/pseuds/CinnamonFreckle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ginny Weasley had ended up in a bit of pickle, and now that her heart is getting involved, she just can't decide, should she stay or should she go?</p><p>Written for Fairest of the Rare's Sing Me a Rare 2020 - UK Invasion</p><p>Runner-Up: The One We Wish Was Longer</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sirius Black/Ginny Weasley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Sing Me a Rare: UK Invasion!</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>This Indecision's Killing Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for Sing Me a Rare: The UK Invasion. Much love to my alpha Lux Louise, who was an excellent Cheerleader and kept me to the deadline.  Check out her fic The Cabin, which is awesome.</p><p>Song Prompt –  Should I Stay or Should I Go - The Clash</p><p>Runner-Up: The One We Wish Was Longer Award</p><p>Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this creation.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ginny never quite knew how she ended up with him. If she had told her younger self that he was the man she would be sleeping with in her twenties, well, she would have laughed and called herself delusional.  He only had to throw a woman a charming smile, perhaps give her a wink, and she was putty in his hands.  </p><p>He was well known for having a different woman every week, and he certainly wasn’t the reliable, family man, hero, she had dreamed of ending up with as a teenager.  More like the inappropriate bad boy she had lusted after, while knowing there was no chance.  She had certainly commented to Hermione a time or two that he was ‘smoking hot’.  </p><p>It was certainly a volatile relationship.  She always knew that Sirius Black was difficult, and she was certainly no wallflower prepared to put up with any of his shit.  He was brash, cocky, and overconfident, full of the belief that he was god’s gift to women.  She was energetic and lively, fiercely independent and loyal.  They clashed as often as they got along, and she often found herself screaming at him, “well Sirius, should I stay or should I go?”</p><p>Every time she was on the verge of walking out on him, something held her back from taking the final step out of the door.  It didn’t help her that the make up sex was always explosive, and that he was slowly worming his way into her heart.  He challenged her, and appreciated her skills as a witch.  Importantly, he didn’t take her for granted.</p><p>It also didn’t help that she was dealing with a 20 year old Sirius, one still full of youthful vigour, not yet dimmed by 12 years spent in Azkaban.  </p><p>Ginny had dropped in to see Hermione at the Ministry one afternoon. While waiting in her office as Hermione finished some last minute meeting with the Minister, Ginny had taken to snooping through the papers on her desk.  Her Gryffindor curiosity had gotten the better of her when she had found a necklace hidden under a large pile of papers.  Noticing that it spun, Ginny had assumed it was some sort of stress relief toy.  Putting it around her neck and spinning the centre haphazardly,  she continued to shuffle through the papers looking for something interesting.  As Ginny had released the rotating dial, she noticed the world around starting to speed up, the people around her moving backwards faster and faster. Panicking, she had fallen back through time.  </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Jumping from 2001 to 1980 was certainly not ideal.  Neither was appearing in the Auror’s office, in front of several junior Aurors, and promptly vomiting all over James Potter’s shoes.  Sirius liked to joke that Ginny had fallen at his feet when they had first met.  Ginny would always retort that it was a shame James was happily married, as it was his feet she had fallen at.  She decided not to mention the other Potter in her life, her boyfriend, currently happily situated in Lily Potter’s stomach and not due for 5 months.</p><p>On realising that she had unexpectedly stumbled into a much younger Sirius Black, and a very much alive James Potter, Ginny had insisted on being taken to Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix.  This had led to much wand waving and shouting, with Sirius arguing that she was probably a spy, suspicious that she knew about the secret organisation.  In the end James had agreed to take her up to Hogwarts, arguing that Dumbledore could oblivate her if necessary. Not a comforting thought for Ginny, as it was certainly true.  </p><p>Dumbledore was just as much of an enigma in 1980 as he had been when she had been at school, but there was something comforting and familiar about the twinkle in his blue eyes.  He had determined that there was no obvious way to send her back, and that while they researched the answer she would be set up within the Order.   He had vouched for her, and none of the Order had batted an eyelid when she was inducted.</p><p>Dumbledore had agreed with Ginny that it shouldn’t be widely known that she came from the future. But of course as James and Sirius had seen her literally appear out of nowhere, they had not been satisfied with the explanation to the Order that Ginny was an obscure Prewett cousin.  Eventually, under constant pressure, Ginny had caved and told James and Sirius the truth.  They had sworn to keep her secret, which she had stressed needed to be kept from the rest of the Marauders.  She didn’t want to flag that Peter was untrustworthy, but equally didn’t want it getting back to Voldemort that there was a time traveller with the Order.</p><p>Though swearing to keep her secret didn’t stop Sirius from teasing her merciously.  He would joke with her that she had been sent back to him, to be with him ‘til the end of time.   He also liked to ask her loudly around Molly Weasley, how exactly Ginny was related to Gideon, Fabian and Molly again.  The fact that Molly had just given birth to Ron, made Ginny feel a little ill.  As did the fact that her own conception was only 8 months away. It had been odd to be befriended by her own mother, believing her to be a long lost relative. She hoped she didn't discover she had been named after herself.  </p><p>Initially Ginny had laughed along with Sirius’s time based jokes, joining in and stating that she had fallen through the future to save Sirius from himself.  She gave as good as she got, and the Marauders were all impressed with her dog based puns. But as time went on, and spring moved into to summer, she realised that she was no closer to going home.</p><p>She had been staying in Sirius’s flat. It had seemed the most sensible option as he knew her secret, and had a spare room.   Ginny enjoyed living with Sirius, he enjoyed her wit and sarcastic responses.  He would happily spar with her verbally, as well as being an incorrigible flirt.  They could argue about quidditch scores, and the relative merits of the Holyhead Harpies and Puddlemere United.  Or they could discuss pranks, with Ginny heavily utilising Fred and George, telling Sirius stories from her childhood which made him roar with laughter.</p><p>As far as Ginny was concerned, it also didn’t hurt that Sirius was very happy to wander around the flat half dressed.  Ginny certainly appreciated the view.  He also was a gentleman, and since she had moved in he hadn’t been bringing any girls around.  According to James this was unheard of, and had started rumours amongst the Maurauders that Sirius fancied Ginny.</p><p>She didn’t mind the teasing, having grown up in a house full of boys she could give as good as she got.  She also knew that teasing from the Maurauders meant that she was ‘in’.  A trusted member of the team. Ginny didn't want to admit, how much this meant to her.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The relationship had started a few months later.  One too many firewhisky’s had been had, and well Ginny wasn’t exactly known for being shy.  She had told Sirius that as she was planning on leaving why shouldn't they enjoy the short time that they had, together.  And, well, Sirius always knew not to disagree with a smart woman.</p><p>Perhaps basing a relationship on physical compatibility, and on the idea that it could end any day soon wasn’t the most sensible of ideas, but boy was the sex good.</p><p>One day, she had come back to the flat, to discover an empty living room, but an open bedroom door.   As she entered the bedroom, she was met with a sight that had her licking her lips.  </p><p>Sirius Black was lying in the centre of the bed, wrists tied to each bedpost, completely naked.  Ginny smirked, her eyes trailing down his body, taking in his erratic breathing, and the nice things it was doing to his chest and abdomen.  As her eyes drifted lower, she took in his hard cock standing proudly away from his body.</p><p>“Oh, Sirius, love.  Is this all for me?” She smiled wickedly at him. </p><p>He looked over at her with a grin.  “Why don’t you come over here and find out?”</p><p>Ginny moved toward the bed, slowly removing her t-shirt and jeans.  Standing at the foot of the bed, in just her bra and knickers she paused, deciding to torture Sirius a little.  “Hummm,” she murmured.  “What shall I do first?  Do you want me on my knees, Sirius, taking your cock in my mouth?  Or perhaps you want to feel me on top of you, coming around your cock?”</p><p>At her words Sirius gave a loud moan, and thrust his hips up off the bed.</p><p>“Or, as this is for me, perhaps I should straddle your head, and ride your face.”  Ginny looked Sirius over again, noting how he was squirming and pulling on the restraints.  </p><p>She moved on to the bed and lent over Sirius, leaning further forward and whispering in his ear.  “What would you like me to do, love?”</p><p>Sirius whimpered, and turned towards her.  “All of it, I want you in control.”</p><p>Ginny smiled at him, taking his head between her hands, and kissing him thoroughly.  She took her time, mapping the inside of his mouth with her tongue. Pulling away she peppered his jaw with kisses, moving towards the juncture between his neck and shoulder, and sucking hard at that spot she knew made Sirius whimper. She bit down on his shoulder lightly before laving the bite with her tongue, smiling as she heard Sirius whine.</p><p>She moved further down his chest, taking first his left nipple into her mouth, sucking lightly, before scraping her teeth over the erect bud.  Repeating the action on his right nipple. Sirius panted, encouraging Ginny further.</p><p>Sirius’s breathing was becoming more and more laboured the lower she went.  As Ginny kissed down his abdomen, she looked up towards Sirius’s face and gave a wicked grin.  Before Sirius could question what that smile meant, she had engulfed his cock in her mouth, causing Sirius to moan loadly.  </p><p>Gripping the base firmly, Ginny slowly worked her tongue around his shaft, alternating between licking and sucking.  She slowly bobbed her head, taking more of him into her mouth each time.  </p><p>“Ginny.” Sirius moaned.  “I’m close.”</p><p>At Sirius’s pronouncement, Ginny redoubled her efforts, and was rewarded with a loud cry and Sirius coming down her throat.  She swallowed it all down, slowly pulling her mouth off his cock with a load pop.  Sitting up and smiling like the cat that got the cream she looked over at Sirius.</p><p>“Are you going to untie me, love?” Sirius asked, with a quirk of his eyebrow.</p><p>“Oh no.” Ginny said with a smile.  “Just waiting for you to recover before round two.”</p><p>Ginny giggled as Sirius gave a moan, before moving back up his body and giving him a hard kiss.  Sirius sighed, thinking that Ginny just might be the death of him.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>He was the most infuriating man.  One day it was all fine and the next day, well it had to be all about Sirius’s didn’t it.  James’ had joked that that was what she got dating a Black, but she had furiously pointed out that Sirius certainly wasn’t like any of the other Black’s.  </p><p>He drove her mad, and she was ashamed to say he brought out the worst traits in her. “If you want me off your back, Sirius, then you need to stop being stupid.” She had screamed at him when he came back from an Order raid, bleeding profusely, and with a definite limp.  He had protested that he was fine. “You should see the other guy,” he’d commented with a smirk and a wink.  Ginny, however, was not amused.  </p><p>It wasn’t that she disagreed with Sirius’s tactics, afterall, you coud achieve anything with enough nerve; and she had certainly done many reckless things during her teenage years, the Department of Mysteries, and her sixth year at Hogwarts being clear examples.  She just felt frustrated. None of them were letting her fight, and instead the man she was alarmed to realise she cared about, quite deeply, and his friends were risking themselves on a daily basis.  There was nothing Ginny hated more than feeling helpless. Unfortunately, it was also in her nature to lash out when she was feeling frustrated or underestimated.</p><p>As time had gone on their fights had got worse.  The rest of the Order joked that Sirius had finally met his match, but Ginny didn’t want to be Sirius’s voice of reason or the nagging girlfriend.  She wanted to go back to being carefree and having fun.  She wanted to enjoy these months as much as possible, knowing that she wasn’t going to be here forever.</p><p>She had been trying to meet with Dumbledore, in order to discuss the best way for her to return to her own time.  But he seemed to have less and less time to meet. When she had initially met Dumbledore, she had been certain he would know the way to send her back.  She had unwavering faith that the wizard would know some obscure spell, or in the very least be able to work something out in order to send her back to her own time.</p><p>But now, well, she knew that this had been a critical time for the Order, and that they were busy trying to take out Death Eaters, without losing too many of their own.  The twinkle in Dumbledore’s eyes however whenever he saw her at Order meetings, gave Ginny the distinct impression that Dumbledore didn’t want her to return.  Dumbledore’s questions for her at the various meetings, also gave her the worrying feeling that he had decided changing the timeline might not be the worst idea.</p><p>The longer she stayed in 1980 the more invested she was becoming in the people around her, and the life she was living with the Order in this time.  It did not help when 31st July arrived and Harry was born, with Sirius of course being named godfather.  She now spent at least one evening every week (though normally more) at the cottage in Godric’s Hollow, cooing over her future boyfriend, and striking up a close friendship with his mother.  She was both elated and horrified when Lily had referred to her as Harry’s Aunt Ginny.</p><p>So Ginny had taken to undertaking her own research into time travel, and had acquired enough books to make Hermione proud.  Ginny had heard all the scare stories from her mother about going back in time; changing something inconsequential, until suddenly you didn’t exist.  It seemed sensible to return as quickly as she could, even if the nagging voice in her head commented that she didn’t really want to return, and that she was building a life in 1980.</p><p>Her research had not got her very far.  Most time turners only sent you back a few hours, allowing you to live those hours twice.  Going back a number of years seemed to be unheard of.</p><p>This was the crux of many of their arguments, Sirius seemed to grow more and more petulant, when she discussed going back home.  It was clear that he didn’t want her to go, but she tried to reason with him, pointing out that she couldn’t stay here, who knew what it would do to the timeline.  </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The fight started as it usually did.  Sirius had come home from work, looked at Ginny buried under a pile of books on time travel, and with a huff had stormed to the kitchen and pulled out the bottle of firewhisky.  Ginny had sighed loudly, and pointed out to Sirius that drinking firewhisky wasn’t a help, and that maybe he could support her research.</p><p>This had led to Sirius screaming at her that there was no way in hell he was helping her disappear off back to some boy in the future.  With Ginny screaming back that at least her boyfriend in the future (she was always carefully not to mention it was Harry), would support her.</p><p>The fight had descended further, with Ginny shouting that Sirius was being reckless with time to suit his own needs.  When Sirius had responded by calling Ginny a coward for not staying and helping them win the war earlier, Ginny had seen red.</p><p>“If that’s how you feel about me, then we should end this now. This indecision is killing me. If you don’t want me Sirius, you should set me free.”</p><p>“You’re always asking if you should stay, or if you should go, Ginny.  Maybe you should just go!”  He had screamed in response.</p><p>The door to the flat slammed behind Sirius as he stormed out of the flat, and Ginny fell to the floor, the fight leaving her, and tears falling down her face.  This time it felt like the argument could well be final.  She rushed to her room, throwing her clothes into a bag.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Sometime later Ginny was sitting on the sofa looking at the time-turner in her hand.  As she turned it over the door to the flat opened.  She looked up, seeing Sirius framed by the doorframe.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Ginny.”  He murmured, looking at the floor.  “I shouldn’t take it out on you.  It’s just very difficult for me, I keep asking myself whether you should stay, or if you should go.  But, I’m selfish, I don’t want you to go, even if that would be best.”  </p><p>Ginny looked over at Sirius, holding out her hand, with the time turner dangling from her palm.  As Sirius looked up at what she was holding, he looked back up into her face, a question on his own.  </p><p>“I know what I want to do, Sirius.  I once told a friend that anything was possible, if you have enough nerve.”  She smiled at him and dropped the chain.  It seemed to fall towards the floor in slow motion, shattering, glass flying, sand escaping.  Ginny continued to look at Sirius as a smile lit up his face, rushing towards her and pulling her towards him, kissing her breathlessly.</p><p>As they pulled away she leant in and whispered in his ear.  “If I go there will be trouble, if I stay there will be double.  Are you ready to change time, Sirius Black?”</p><p><br/>
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